Self-sabotage is a pattern. Most of us fall into it without realizing it.
I see smart, capable people stuck in cycles that quietly work against them. I have been quite guilty of this as well. Procrastinating instead of starting. Staying silent instead of speaking up. Putting themselves down while hoping confidence will somehow appear.
Anxiety and depression don’t create these behaviors, but they absolutely pour fuel on them. When your nervous system is overwhelmed, avoidance can feel safer than action. Self-criticism can feel like control. Staying stuck can feel less risky than moving forward.
None of this means you are broken. It means your brain is trying to protect you, even when the strategy is no longer helping.
🔸 Three Ways to Loosen the Grip of Self-Sabotage 🔸
âś… Name the Pattern Without Judgment
Awareness is powerful. When you can say “this is avoidance” or “this is self-criticism,” you create space to respond instead of react.
âś… Choose One Small Opposite Action
You don’t need a full overhaul. Speak one honest sentence. Take one step you’ve been putting off. Small actions retrain the brain (think neurplasticity) faster than big promises.
âś… Address the Anxiety Underneath
Self-sabotage is often a symptom, not the problem. Therapy, support and learning how to regulate your nervous system matter more than willpower.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung
Change doesn’t happen by beating yourself up.
It happens by understanding what’s driving the behavior.
And choosing a different response, one step at a time.
Peter Zafirides, MD
Central Ohio Behavioral Medicine
(For educational purposes only. Not medical advice.)
(Image Credit: The Present Psychologist)
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