In my 30-year career as a psychiatrist, I’ve learned a lot about how people feel and think. Today, I want to share with you a simple but powerful idea that can really change the way you see things.
Think about holding a hot coal in your hand, planning to throw it at someone. The following quote, originally shared by Buddha, teaches us something important about anger:
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
This means that when we stay angry at someone, it hurts us more than anyone else. In my work, I’ve seen how damaging anger can be for people and their relationships. I have personally felt the damage of my own anger.
Most of us think that we hold power or control over others when we are angry, but that simply is not the case.Unresolved anger eats away at us, harming our mental and physical health, and making it hard to connect with others.
However, there’s a hopeful side to this. We have the choice to let go of our anger. Letting it go doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’re strong enough to choose peace and understanding over holding onto pain. Forgiving others—or ourselves—helps us heal and grow.
So, when life throws challenges and disagreements our way, remember the value of releasing that “hot coal” of anger. By doing so, we protect ourselves from pain and allow a path towards a life filled with compassion, resilience, and understanding.
Remember, we always have choice to be angry. It is totally our responsibility.
We can also choose to face disagreements with a willingness to forgive and an openness to understand.
It may not be easy, but the quality of our emotional and physical life depends upon it.
Peter Zafirides, MD
Central Ohio Behavioral Medicine
PSYCHIATRY
COLUMBUS, OHIO
If you’re experiencing anxiety or depression do not take these symptoms lightly. The earlier you get help, the quicker you can find healing, because your symptoms truly can get better. Working with our psychiatrists is a proven path for dealing with such concerns. Contact us to talk about getting you the help you need and deserve.
